Friday, June 10, 2005

Confusionism Alert!

Shrimp here: Confusionism is not limited to the majority if the commitees, bishops, and theologians of the ELCA. Oh no, it reigns in all institutions. After all, if you devote your life to getting to the top, you are probably pretty confused to begin with. And then there is all those commitee meetings where the least in importance becomes first priority. And don't forget the self-interest. But make it a church institution and then the devil gets interested and boy, what we could do with a bsihop who said something when he opened his mouth!

Seriously, Shellfish wants to avert a disaster, and we think even some of the smarter and more faithdul bishops do not see the clear and present danger. Because they have been at it longer and becasue the Primates turned up the heat last March on the frog in the pot, even the Bishop of Alabama can see that Nero has his fiddle out and is getting out the torches.

From our friends at Stand Firm:

"Alabama Bishops Comment on Upcoming ACC Meeting
8 - June, 2005
Statement from Bishop Parsley and Bishop Andrus regarding the Anglican Consultative Council (ACC) meeting in England. This statement was distributed to all clergy of the diocese on June 8th, 2005

In the interest of deeper understanding and reconciliation in the churches of the Anglican Communion, the Windsor Report called for a process of listening and study on issues of human sexuality.

A part of this process will be a presentation by an ad hoc committee of the Episcopal Church to the meeting of the Anglican Consultative Council (ACC) beginning June 18 in Nottingham, England, as requested by the Windsor Report and the primates' meeting. The presentation will attempt to demonstrate theologically how blessing for same sex unions would meet the "criteria of scripture, tradition, and reason" and "would constitute growth in harmony with the apostolic tradition as it has been received." (Windsor Report, 141)

This presentation will not represent the official views of the Episcopal Church or the House of Bishops. It is the work of the ad hoc committee composed primarily of theologians appointed by the Presiding Bishop and his Canon Theologian, who are charged with presenting one viewpoint as requested.

This next step in the listening and study process recommended by the Windsor Report and the primates of the Anglican Communion is meant to contribute to the conversation and further discussion in the church about the issues before us.
We ask that you communicate this to your parishioners, if possible before the meeting of the Anglican Consultative Council which begins on June 18."

Be sure to read the comments like this one:

Let's run that through the gobbledy-gook translator. It will only take a minute or two, just few more minutes. Ok.

The gobledy-gook translator which was tuned to episcobabble, just translated what all that bishopspeak means. Below is the translation.

"Dear Clergy,

We, the bishops of this diocese which has recently lost a tremendous number of the orthodox are very nervous about what the ECUSA representatives are going to say. We can't stand another lost parish or parish split because it means too much lost revenue to the diocese and to our pet projects.

So, we want you the clergy to make it sound as if there is some distinction between the voice of ECUSA representatives at the Nottingham and the real voice of ECUSA.

So, please, please try and tell everyone that this is not the official view of the church.

That should confuse them.

But no matter what don't let them realize that these raving liberals who will represent ECUSA (like the head of Integrity-- the gay, bisexual, trangendered advocacy group) are really the ones who run the show here in the Episcopal Church. That would be too shocking for most people who give money to our dying diocese.

And, remember this is very important. All of our salaries and pensions depend on it."

At least that's what the translator printed out.


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